Pairs Skating

   I know I wrote early this morning but so much can happen over a day. Today was our monthly meeting with the St. Francis fraternity of the Secular Franciscan Order (SFO). JoAnne and I blew our regular Sunday routine by sleeping in too late to make the early Mass at Our Lady of the Angels. Next choice was morning Mass at Saint Mary's, home of our Fraternity. Mass was beautiful. We got to hear dear friends sing and catch up on news after the liturgy. We picked a seat near an exit aisle, which meant no kneeler. I had to kneel on the hardwood floor and it reminded me of cloisters and abbey churches and simplicity and many things I love about Catholicism. The Basilica is so old in design that there are actual pillars blocking the view of the altar, from the side seats. I had a clear view of the statue of Mary, and she simply pointed toward Jesus, so my prayers were sweet and comforting. Such a grace...!
   After Mass we wandered down to the basement meeting hall and joined our fraternity and other parishoners packing lunches for the homeless. Our journey asks us to participate in such works with our brothers and sisters that they might help us by example to learn the ways of Franciscan love and ministry. I just enjoy talking over the kitchen counter as we make hundreds of baloney sandwiches, or pack zip bags with chips. It isn't much, if you measure it, but there are people out there with nothing, not even a sandwich to eat. 
   After packing lunches JoAnne and I retire to the Chancery building next door to study and share with our cohort group. We are "first year candidates" which means we are learning to study, pray, share and form community with others who are on the same journey. Another group meets down the hall from us. They are "second year" candidates and will profess in October. A third group is meeting somewhere as well, though I don't seem to notice them. They are "inquirers" people who wonder what the Order is all about and what they might do to follow this path. JoAnne and I follow because everything else has faded in comparison. The world and all its promises...

   After our lessons we return to the basement of Saint Mary's where the Fraternity has gathered to share a potluck lunch, to pray together and--guess what?--to learn some more! Today we review some pointers about praying the Hours (that's from the book of Christian Prayer), then review business that involves the Fraternity and hear other news. It's a long, lovely day, very different from our old life. But in the process my great joy and peace fades and I feel steadily weaker. It's been a problem today and I'm not sure I've been eating properly. I take medications for blood pressure and sometimes get out of balance. I look at an old church pew pushed up against a wall in the corner and long to lay myself down, just stretch out and let the odd feeling pass, but I don't want to alarm anyone. Slowly, slowly I emerge from that hole and feel I can stand up without fainting, though several time during my prayers I can't continue talking, or even hold my prayerbook up. Weakness is one of those trials James talks about. It doesn't feel like a privilege to me...
    Finally we say goodbye to one another and all retire to our own homes and lives for another month. JoAnne says she's good for about two weeks and then she starts missing everyone so much that it hurts. Someone wise and experience told us, "When that happens, just pick up the phone and call. We aren't that far apart..." Which is interesting because we had a guest today, a visitor from Seattle, I think, who said her Fraternity spans four western states! I don't imagine they see each other every month...

   Now, after nearly twenty-four hours I've come 'round the circle to just about where I began. Where have I gone in that time? How far have I walked with Jesus? What have I learned? How have I changed? I was confirmed in our study group today that it is right to share my thoughts and feelings this way. It helps me and it may help others. We all have a gift and writing is one of mine. I still worry about humility. But perhaps that's just pride in disguise. Thankfully, no one has seemed to take notice that I am journaling in such a public way. Well, JoAnne has. She experiences something of her own when she reads what I wrote, sometimes not even waiting 'till morning but getting out of bed in the middle of the night to see if there's anything new. And sometimes, listening to her laugh and talk at the meetings, I know God has given me a good partner in this journey, someone who sees things I don't notice, who hears God speaking when I'm not paying attention. I hope I can be a good partner for her too.