So of Course You Know What Happens Next...

     I have a temper. It's not like, always out there, bashing and crashing into things. But lately it's really been making itself felt, especially in situations where I'm given a job to do and no directions. Like most everything in the Fraternity, lately. To make it more complicated, everyone in leadership is doing double and triple-duty, so it gets confused. I'm thinking we should begin every conversation with "What are we talking about...?"
     The Holy Spirit goes ahead regardless of whether or not we have our head on straight. God's work gets done and we can either be there for it, or we can stand in the corner sulking. I prefer to do it well, but that's not always how it gets done. So, as we slide into the week before Christmas we are able to duck out of the mayhem and do other things: clean house, bake cookies, decorate the Christmas Tree. Thank goodness for holidays! They get me off the front lines and let other people have a vacation from me.

     At our last Fraternity meeting we received new Candidates. A year or so ago that was us, standing up in front of the community, making a (small) promise to embrace the period of learning and formation. It was a happy day for JoAnne and I, and it was the start of wonderful things. I say that the simple discipline of daily prayer worked a great transformation. I've found strength and willingness to work on my shortcomings. I've been given a lot of insight into God's will and his Gospel, as much as I can handle, really. And I've been able to sort myself out better than any other time in my life. I think that's another Gospel effect. Looking ahead, I can see where the life of service brings much change, in our attitudes, our desires, and especially our understanding and awareness of God's presence. I love my Fraternity. It is like any family where you wouldn't trade them for the world, but sometimes you could just brain them! Well, God has his way and his purpose. Here is where I stand, so this is where I serve.
     My hope then, is to grow as a servant, putting others first, learning patience and how to see things from other people's perspective. It's not all about me, and that's a good thing, really. It gets me off the hook. But there is a temptation to let service become something on the surface, with no substance, no real giving underneath. I would say that if it isn't driving you crazy now and then, you're probably not committing yourself. I know that God loves me and from love he has given me this path to walk, and I do love it. But there are so many things I can't say, I just don't have words for. So I search among the lives of the saints, finding new friends all the time. Ours is a big, eternal family. We should get to know each other.

     So I came here today to set up a new blog, actually, a place where I can talk about my brother, Pat, maybe tell his story, share his quirky brand of goodness with others. He lives like a parable--there is much to learn from knowing him. But I want you to know that even with the busy holidays, with all the distractions, this blog is my first love and I intend to see it through. It's all about the journey, like walking to Emmaus. Out here on the road, we can expect to meet God...

Feast of Saint Lucy

     Saint Lucy is the patron saint of the blind. Her name means “light” and comes from the Latin word for “lucid”, which means “full of light, clear and understandable.” Lucy lived in Syracuse, Sicily and brought her mother Eutychia to visit the relics of Saint Agatha in Catania. While there, Eutychia was cured of a bleeding illness. When Lucy came home, she refused to marry a pagan, who exposed her as a Christian. According to one tradition the governor ordered her to be blinded, but God restored her sight. Lucy was then martyred around the year 300.

SAINT LUCY,
     Whose beautiful name
Signifies light, By the light of Faith
Which God bestowed upon you,
Increase and preserve His light in my soul,
So that I may avoid evil,
Be zealous in the performance of good works,
And abhor nothing so much as the blindness
And the darkness of evil and sin.
     Obtain for me,
By your intercession with God,
Perfect vision for my bodily eyes
And the grace to use them
For God’s greater honor and glory
And the salvation of souls.
St. Lucy, Virgin and martyr,
Hear my prayers and obtain my petitions.
Amen.

     Last night JoAnne and I celebrated Reconciliation at Our Lady of the Angels. It was a very beautiful liturgy, shared by the community, in which we acknowledged before God our own weaknesses and asked for his help to change. Speaking to the priest, I realized it was time for me to make a commitment, and I placed everything into the light of God's judgment. I told Jesus I was ready to be his disciple, to give him all that he seeks, to follow in the footsteps of Saint Francis and to live my life for him in the manner of love.
     I sat down, then, in the midst of the Community and waited. It wasn’t long before God came to me and said,
     “I accept.”

     It was December 13, the Feast of Saint Lucy. In our Catholic community we love and honor the Saints. We pray for their help and devote ourselves to imitating their virtues. It’s a way of growing stronger in faith in Jesus, who is King of all Saints. Each one of these honored people showed in some way their devotion to Christ while they lived on earth, and all of them have the common charism of living the Gospel; all of them gave themselves completely to the will of God. I’ve known this tradition all of my life. It doesn’t matter so much when one decides, but it matters to God that one decides. He waits for it, sometimes our entire lifetime, and he honors our choice because we make it freely.
     I make note of the time, place and date of this story because of its sacramental context. Cleansed and absolved of my many sins, wrapped in the loving arms of my community, filled with hope, I made my declaration and I am noting it here with the same feelings of faith, hope and love. My decision is signed and sealed with his own affirmation. On December 13, 2010, I have become a disciple and have embraced Saint Lucy as my patroness. I think it’s wonderful that she was once Sicilian, like JoAnne. And like Saint Lucy, I hope Jesus will use me to bring light into the world. For I am one who, even in love with Christ, have been blind for such a long time…

     We settle into the Advent season with quiet comfort. It has been busy around us, but not too crazy. Since we need to be frugal, many of the plans and activities that used to drain us are no longer attractive, which gives us time to clean house and pray. Both seem suited to the season. I miss the old rush, the round of parties, the late nights wrapping gifts, but it's nice to get to bed on time, rest well and enjoy the days in simple ways. Most of all, we seem to gravitate to church, taking classes, going to special liturgies, we even signed up for an "evening retreat" with a favorite teacher.
     On Sunday mornings we are hospitality ministers. We greet people as they come into church and pass out song sheets. We scan the assembly to look for empty seats so those who come a little late don't have to stand in the back. We help take up the collection. We guide the lines to Communion and after Mass we pass out bulletins. People seem to like it. One man thanked me "for being here". I wonder sometimes if people, in their everyday lives, ever hear someone say "hello".
     The Advent season has its prayers and liturgies, and it's always been a favorite of mine. But I'm not sure if I prefer Christmas or Easter. Easter is preceded by the season of Lent, during which we pray and reflect, seeking to know our weaknesses and ways to improve ourselves. During Advent we also pray and reflect, but this is in anticipation of the great Feast of Christmas. In Advent we prepare for the celebration. At Easter, we celebrate our preparations.
     They tell us that Saint Francis loved Christmas and that Christmas is a day beloved among Franciscans. But Easter somehow seems more real to me, I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because Easter celebrates the promise of our Lord's return, when all the world will be set right and peace will reign forever. Our hope is in the Lord and in his second coming. Christmas is the story of his wonderful gift of self while Easter is the promise of the fulfillment of his final promise, the one thing we still wait for. So while we live, we work to prepare for his return, and when he comes again, we will celebrate that work with him in his kingdom.
     I think that as my heart changes, my celebrations will change. Christmas, I suspect, will take on new meaning for me as the wrappings and glitter fall away. How do people celebrate when they find they are in love with God? For JoAnne and I, we go to church, and enter once again into the quiet joy, the songs and prayers, the faces and hearts around us. We take the Eucharist and once more we are made into one Body with all the others. These are truly our mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers through Christ. At church, we are at home.

     And God is taking that and stretching it to fit the whole world...