God Knows

     There's more to becoming a Franciscan than I knew. Most of my friends confirm it. Even good Catholics with lots of experience don't seem to know much about Franciscans. We've had people ask questions like "Do Franciscans believe in God?" Some think we're a cult. Some think we live in monasteries. Being married and living in a house and going to work every day seems to throw them. How can you live in a religious order and still have a life? Maybe I'll spend my career in the SFO doing P.R. They could use it.
     But I have to admit I was pretty much the same when I began. For instance, if you asked me to name a Franciscan saint, I could have told you one. Turns out there are lots of them. So many that there's a whole extra prayer book just to fit them in, and there seem to be new ones coming all the time. But that's not what today's blog is about. Today it's about the journey...

     We bought a small TAO for our house. It's about eight inches tall and I put it on the wall over our mailbox, just outside the front door. I didn't want it to blow off the wall in a windstorm, so I used this white kind of glue that comes in a tube and you squeeze it out with a caulking gun. When I was finished JoAnne said, "Well, that's stuck on there. We're never selling this house...!"
     And that seemed to sum up the changes that have been happening this summer. As soon as the TAO was up and the glue was set, our home became a Franciscan place, just like any Franciscan Mission or Retreat House or Church or any other place we've visited since our journey began. I was startled by the thought. I hadn't set out to do that; it wasn't my intent. But JoAnne was right as she always is about such things. Our house is changed. Through the Franciscan way, we have given it to God, as it should be.

     How many Christians get this far? What can God do with a broken-down old joint like this? There was a big crane on the street last week. Our next-door neighbor was getting a new airconditioning unit. So of course I spent the night laying awake worrying about how long our unit will last. Tight times, you know. But we were watching the movie "Jesus of Nazareth" and there's a scene where he is teaching the disciples and he says "Don't worry about such things. Seek the things of the kingdom and everything you need will be given to you."
     It's not easy, to trust I mean. Not like that. Not with full conviction of the Gospel. We start with longing to trust--we want to trust--long before we are peaceful about it. We long to walk with God, before we find peace in God. We long to turn away from sin long before we have either the strength or the courage to do so. We long to be free even before we embrace the Cross...
     God knows all this. He knows the hardships of faith before he calls us to it. And one of Francis' closest companions, Saint Clare of Assissi, wrote that "God moves the soul gradually" until it wants nothing but the Lord, until it can surrender everything to have him.

     We've been listening to Joyce Meyer on tapes. She's really helping us understand what boldness means in the life of faith. How boldness opens our lives up to the promises of Christ. We have to choose boldness before we feel brave. We have to throw our lives in with Christ like the apostles... before we really know him. Maybe that's why the Spirit had us put up the TAO. I was wiping the extra glue off with a wet rag when I looked at it and told JoAnne "I guess this means I'll have to be nice to salesmen from now on..."
     The TAO is out in front now, like a lamp. It's easy to see from the street. People don't know what it means. It looks a little odd. But over the years I've had strangers come to the door on God's instruction, people with a message for us, people with gifts, even people with healing. Before I put up the TAO, God already knew where to find me. Before anything, before we make the first move toward Him, he has already taken us into his arms. It's time to put our faith out front...